The Brush Off - The Post that almost wasn't
In the last few weeks, Quest for the Closet Poker Player has been running a great series on poker and relationships. CC asked me to send him some thoughts on the subject. It took me a long time to respond.
I don't want to talk generally about it: everyday my hubby and I are walking the line. I told CC that even now I don't like it.
Am I a hypocrite? After all I play two or three tournaments a week. I've even won three of the last five I've played. I wouldn't win so much if I had learned such great tips from my hubby.
No, maybe.
I feel a little like a kiss and tell. My hubby is wonderful. He works really hard. He deserves his down time. He doesn't deserve a nitpicking wife who wants him to drop everything and spend time with her!
Lately, I haven't been writing very much. I have a lot of great excuses. You can choose whichever one you like. Here is a short list:
I am flailing about, trying to get myself rolling again. I am doing everything I can to try not to involve my hubby in this process: I don't know what he can do to help, and I know he hates to see me in a state. So I am doing what I do worst: trying to hide it.
I had a great day writing yesterday. One of the best I have had in a long time. I felt he has been pushing me to work on my book lately, so before I left to work at the pub last night, I left him a few pages to read. I was excited and proud of my accomplishment.
When I called home around 10 p.m., he was in the middle of a ring game. I asked how he was doing. He said he was up a little bit. Then I asked what he thought of the pages I left for him. I was really excited to hear what he thought. "Oh, I haven't read them yet. You know I don't read until I am in bed."
Nice.
I have two questions for all you poker players out there: What are all the things you used to do that you suddenly don't have time for anymore? Like EXERCISE? Going for a walk in the evening with your wife? Or shooting some hoops with guys? Playing on a softball team? Chasing the kids around in the backyard?
Who are all the people buzzing in your ears that you keep brushing off? Like YOUR so-called PARTNER? Or your quote-unquote PARENTS? Or your friends? What do they know?
I sometimes think these poker blogs are just one big forum of co-dependent slackers. My wife doesn't understand me! My Mommy won't let me come play! My friends are mean!
Suck it up. Suck it ALL up. Do a few 100 push ups and let me know how you feel after.
I don't want to talk generally about it: everyday my hubby and I are walking the line. I told CC that even now I don't like it.
Am I a hypocrite? After all I play two or three tournaments a week. I've even won three of the last five I've played. I wouldn't win so much if I had learned such great tips from my hubby.
No, maybe.
I feel a little like a kiss and tell. My hubby is wonderful. He works really hard. He deserves his down time. He doesn't deserve a nitpicking wife who wants him to drop everything and spend time with her!
Lately, I haven't been writing very much. I have a lot of great excuses. You can choose whichever one you like. Here is a short list:
- I'm a lazy loser
- The weather sucks in London
- I am depressed after my miscarriage
- All writers go through these phases
- All of the above
I am flailing about, trying to get myself rolling again. I am doing everything I can to try not to involve my hubby in this process: I don't know what he can do to help, and I know he hates to see me in a state. So I am doing what I do worst: trying to hide it.
I had a great day writing yesterday. One of the best I have had in a long time. I felt he has been pushing me to work on my book lately, so before I left to work at the pub last night, I left him a few pages to read. I was excited and proud of my accomplishment.
When I called home around 10 p.m., he was in the middle of a ring game. I asked how he was doing. He said he was up a little bit. Then I asked what he thought of the pages I left for him. I was really excited to hear what he thought. "Oh, I haven't read them yet. You know I don't read until I am in bed."
Nice.
I have two questions for all you poker players out there: What are all the things you used to do that you suddenly don't have time for anymore? Like EXERCISE? Going for a walk in the evening with your wife? Or shooting some hoops with guys? Playing on a softball team? Chasing the kids around in the backyard?
Who are all the people buzzing in your ears that you keep brushing off? Like YOUR so-called PARTNER? Or your quote-unquote PARENTS? Or your friends? What do they know?
I sometimes think these poker blogs are just one big forum of co-dependent slackers. My wife doesn't understand me! My Mommy won't let me come play! My friends are mean!
Suck it up. Suck it ALL up. Do a few 100 push ups and let me know how you feel after.
posted by Elizabeth Howard at 2:54 AM
2 Comments:
Sorry to hear that you have had a miscarriage. We had 2 miscarriages before we were sucsessful so I understand how you feel (as much as a man can). Just as you think a new chapter of your life is starting it is taken away from you. Afterwards you look around yourself and see that nothing has changed where so much should have. I'm not the best at getting whats in my head into written word so I'll stop before I start to ramble. But it is understandable if you are a bit 'nitpicky' at this time and I'm sure you will be up and 'rolling' soon.
One other thing. After the second miscarriage I worked alot (more than was needed). At the time if I had discovered poker I'm sure I would have played that one hell of alot. My wife wasn't sure that it had affected me as I seemed ok, but working loads and not talking was my way of dealing with it. For what its worth I think it was the wrong way.
Best wishes
Paul.
I don't play computer games any more and miss them. Otherwise it's a 100% tradeoff.
I do write more which has really excited the neurons in my pea sized brain so that is a good thing.
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